Why women cannot sleep

This complex diagram is said to illustrate the extraordinary thinking process of an average woman, offering important indications of why many women find it difficult to sleep.

Each of those little blue balls is a thought focused on something which (i) needs to be done, (ii) a decision or (iii) a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only two balls – and they consume all his thoughts.

The blog diagram is only a small part of a fascinating insight. To see the diagram in full and in action please go to the following web address:

http://www.therapypartnership.com/nocturnal.html

A Ripple of laughter

Baroness Campbell of Surbiton was made a peer two or three years ago because of her services on behalf of the disabled. She speaks in the Lords from a wheelchair and is a Crossbencher (does not take any party whip)

“As I am unable to move unaided, I sleep on a ripple bed, which prevents me developing pressure sores. The mattress developed a serious puncture. It had been good for years and years, and I used to mend the holes with a puncture repair outfit from the bicycle shop, but eventually the mattress had had it.

I went on to the internet and found an exact replica costing £200, and I did this to save the Primary Care Trust time and effort.
But the PCT insisted on sending out a district nurse to reassess me, even though I gave an assurance that my condition had not changed, and that the mattress was only a replica. But it was not to be.

Instead, there followed a series of very costly visits. The first involved a 16-page questionnaire.

My pulse was taken and I was asked how many times a day I go to the loo. I am not sure what that had to do with the bed, but there you go.

The district nurse asked if I had a pressure sore, and of course I said, "No, I use a ripple bed".

She replied: "Oh. In that case, you don't need a ripple bed and I can't give you one!"

I pointed out that the reason I did not have pressure sores was because I used a ripple bed. It is called prevention.

The district nurse then told me that I would need to see the tissue viability nurse as she was not authorised to give me a replacement mattress.

The more expert professional assessed me, looked at the 16-page form and said I needed a super-duper, extra-thick air mattress costing £3,000.

It was not what I wanted. Not least because it would raise me a foot above my husband in our bed.

To that the nurse retorted: "But my patients don't sleep in double beds".

I thought that that would be tricky for our marital relationship.

The nurse then said, "Anyway, take it or leave it".

I said that I would take the air mattress, sell it on eBay, then use the cash to buy a lifetime's supply of ripple mattresses.

At that, the nurse went back to the office and the PCT relented.

I am happy to inform the Minister that I have saved the NHS £2,650.